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Yay!!!!  Friday!!!!!  It may be time to brush up on your pick-up lines since there’s a new sign.

A 13th sign is being added to the Zodiac calendar to account for the Earth’s shift over the last few thousand years.
WTF?  Did I need my mind blown today?  No.

Astronomer Park Kunkle says the signs you were born under are different now because a wobble on the planet’s axis generated a one-month bump in star alignment.
It just freakin’ figures.  I’m now the water boy.  How just like life.  Grrrr.
Star gazers say ‘Earth is currently in a different spot in relation to the Sun, and its equatorial alignment has changed from 3,000 years ago when the study of astrology began — back when 12 zodiac signs were assigned to 12 different periods of the year’.” (NBC 2 News)

Do tell!

Here’s your real horoscope adjusted:

  • Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
  • Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
  • Pisces: March 11- April 18
  • Aries: April 18- May 13
  • Taurus: May 13- June 21
  • Gemini: June 21- July 20
  • Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
  • Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
  • Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
  • Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
  • Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
  • Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
  • Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

I see a snake-handler.

My Aquarius sign is ruled by Uranus! Get it???

😆 😆 😆

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87 thoughts on “Hey, Babies. What’s your New Sign?

  1. Aw, rats. I was a borderline Capricorn anyway (by 4 minutes), now I’m a Sagittarius. My father and sister are now – what the heck is that thing? Upsy-daisy? Ouchy-oochy? Ah, whatever! Figure out what an Ophiuchus is, and let us know! And thanks for this stellar update! (Uck! Bad puns! Phooie! No, Opi-phooie!)

    • All I know is: we must pronounce Ophiuchus as “O, Fuck us.” Because that’s just funny.

      (I think I’ll tell the 13th commenter, “I’m ruled by Uranus.) 😀

      • Omigod, the new sign is Egyptian? Don’t you know all Egyptian gods are evil aliens? (The Goa’uld!) Now they’re gonna come through the Stargate and get us! And they’re gonna be PISSED, ’cause we’ve blown up several of their fellow Goa’uld! WE’RE IN FOR IT NOW! Somebody call the Tok’ra! The Asgard! SOMEBODY!!!
        (Reality is a crutch for those who can’t handle Stargate!) 😀
        By the way, why does that Astrology site NOT have the 13th symbol on its’ header?

        • I always wondered, if all human gods were actually aliens, why they never touched on Yahweh, Jesus, or Allah?

          Well, I *know* why, but there’s still a rational whole there that I wish could have been filled despite Westboro Baptist and the Mohammed-cartoon Jihad.

          • Oh, dear lady, you are missing SO much. I’m not big into the spinoffs (ok, 2nd tier spinoffs), but SG-1 was great – until they promoted Jack O’Neill. Besides, it’s got Amanda Tapping AND Teryl Rothery (my fave – I like short, tough women so much, I married one!) for the guys, Richard Dean Anderson AND Michael Shanks AND Christopher Judge for the girls, military stuff, explosions, sci-fi, alternate history, cool technology…. a perfect set-up for any nerd-fan! If you get Showtime on your cable/satellite package, it runs on the “Showtime Beyond” channel. I’d recommend it, but as you can tell from my write-up, I have mixed feelings. (Yeah, RIGHT! Haven’t seen the boy drool so much since he met Grace Lee Whitney!) Sorry, that was one of the voices in my head. I don’t mind them talking, it’s when they hijack the keyboard that I get a little miffed… 😀

          • It’s easier to do the multi-theistic pantheons as aliens. Single deities don’t work as well, unless you use Star Trek TNG’s episode “The Devil’s Due” as a model. Besides, ancient Egyptians or Norsemen aren’t really the suicide-bomber types, so it’s pretty safe to take liberties with THEIR gods. Now, maybe if a few Greeks declared … (whatever “jihad” translates into Greek) because somebody named a car “Apollo” or something like that, THEN franchises like SG1 would be in trouble……

  2. i couldn’t spell sagittarius without googling it (2 t’s? 2 r’s?), and now i can’t even pronounce ophiuchus, let alone spell it! i think i’ll just tell people i was adopted, and my birth records were lost, so i don’t know what sign i am.

  3. one of my favorites from a cartoon I can’t remember the name of was when the professor said something something Urectum and fry said you mean uranus?the professor said no-they had to change the name of the planet because they got tired of all the butt jokes.

  4. Pingback: Sign Language for Toddlers » Blog Archive » Latest babies signs news – Baby Signs: How to Talk with Your Baby Before Your Baby Can Talk … » Sign Language for Toddlers

  5. This is bullshit. I know people born in those times that act just like their sign and nothing like the purported newly corresponding signs; which apparently have little to do with astrology since astrology is mainly based on planetary influences, instead of stellar

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