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Tristan (205) XXX-XXXX – mobile
7/6/11 6:36 PM now
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Tristan: Have you written a story on casey anthony yet? 5:09 PM
Me: No. I try to stick to funny stuff. She’s a monster. 😦 6:26 PM
Tristan: Shes not guilty 6:27 PM
Me: Not guilty does not mean innocent, sweetheart. It means the jury thought there wasn’t enough evidence to convict. She was the last person with the child. 6:30 PM
Me: She’s a proven liar. The jury didn’t convict because scientists could not determine a cause of death. 6:30 PM
Tristan: I know, i saw it. 6:30 PM
Tristan: Women, i know. I just said she was found not guilty. 6:31 PM
Me: It’s “woman” not “women,” sweetie. 😀 6:33 PM
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21 thoughts on “Texting the Offspring

  1. I learned from a young age, mostly from my father, that you never argue with a woman unless you KNOW you are right, can prove it, and have somewhere to sleep once you do. Otherwise, if the wife claims the sky is yellow, the only proper response is “Yes, it IS a lovely shade of yellow, isn’t it, dear?”. To this day, I’ve never slept on the couch once – that’s my judge of victory!

    • Maybe this should be the first dinner conversation when they get back from their grandparents. “I know, boys, I’ve taught you to reason and to be competitive…but I haven’t told you about women.” 😉

      • The sooner, the better. Unless you WANT them living in your basement until they’re 30, playing Dungeons and Dragons every Friday night. (“Not that I ever did that”, he says, walking away while whistling nonchalantly.) 😀

  2. your kids read your blog? my son doesn’t even know the name of mine. on the other hand, he’s never once called me ‘woman’, so i guess it’s a tradeoff. 😉

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