Platinum Bristol
platinum pictures

Is Bristol Palin old enough to pick on yet?  Yes?

Alaska’s self-declared 24K gold-plated twat…jk.

Bristol says in her new memoir that she was so drunk the first time she had sex she doesn’t remember what happened, but Levi Johnston confirmed they’d done the nasty.

Ok.  I’ve never been this drunk, but if I had been, I don’t think it’s something I’d share with the planet.  Why would she do this?

Well, she accuses him of “stealing” her virginity.  She didn’t give it up, he stole it.  But somehow it’s not date rape.


Okay, I have to think like a Palinite…

  • It’s excellent revenge to give the world an image of Levi doing a girl in a drunken coma.
  • At the same time, completely abolish any responsibility for having sex.

She was so broke up about being done in a booze coma that she got on birth control and properly consented. She says she was on birth control.

She claims while on birth control, she got pregnant anyway.



27 thoughts on “Bristol + Wine Coolers = Stolen Virginity

  1. how many wine coolers did she drink? they don’t have that much booze in them, and it’s not like she’s a lightweight. and why did she continue to have sex with someone she says is a rapist?

    she’s making a mockery of every girl who has really been date-raped.

  2. I hate doing drunk chicks.almost as bad as doing dead chicks…not that I have ever been with a dead chick…Is she even of legal age?to drink?wine coolers?damn.she does not sound too bright.

  3. In the words of the great John Prine…”Dear Abbey, dear Abbey…well I never thought…that me and my girlfriend would ever get caught…just sittin’ in the backseat, shootin’ the breeze…with her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees…signed…Just Married.

  4. Now, come on people, this is PROOF she is part of the stand-out Palin family. After all, birth control fails what, like one time in 10,000 or 100,000? So, she is that rare exception! And thus follows in mom’s truly unusual footsteps as the ultimate “non-candidate candidate”.
    I thought genetic diseases tended to jump generations. Then again, I guess “stupid”, being universal like hydrogen, can violate that rule too.
    We need a new Internet acronym – WGAF. As in, “Who Give A ….. Feather.” 😀

    • Well, I’ve got a bet with one of the ladies in my other “blog family”, she says Justin Bieber will be on the reality circuit by 35, I say by 28. Suppose we could shoot for a double-header, have a Palin/Bieber “Where Are They Now” type show. Call it more like 10-15 years, tops. And definitely one for the new category of WGAF!

  5. That whole pack of chuckleheads have been in “cried wolf” territory for so long, I just automatically discount what any of ’em (“all of ’em, Katie”) say as pure fabrication and fairy farts.

    You heard me. Fairy farts.

  6. Would have been more plausible if she said that she and Levi were walking on an icy trail, they both slipped, and Levi landed in Bristol’s special place.

  7. John prine…I love that song.aint heard it in years.I think justin beiber should get with the little palin girl and they should(how do the younguns’ say it today???)…hook up.I bet they would make a cute couple.THEN do the reality show…married by 30 divorced by 35(does not matter whose age you use the ratings would be off the scale,I say!5 kids big house custody battles,i.r.s. seizures,tax problems,they could spin a whole lot of shows of those two!their celebrity status would crumble and then more reality shows!!The sheep eat that shite up!!

  8. Pingback: Did Levi Johnston **** Bristol Palin? | Unsettled Christianity

  9. I am so friggin sick of this family. What a bunch of self-rightous pricks.
    Why should anyone give a flaming fart what any of them are doing?
    People should get a life, go visit their neighbors and friends. Visit the sick and elderly. Help someone that truly needs attention. Be empathetic, not a pathetic Palin “follower”!

    • Hi, Sekan. Thanks for visiting. Your advice seemed to work in Minnesota. The Mooselinis showed up at a mall for a booksigning and only handful of worshipers showed up. Maybe America can quit the Palins. 😀

  10. Pingback: the secret harry potter book « the upside of inertia

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s