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Sigh. Mark Ruffalo. Irresistible.

He used to be my #1.

Never rising above second choice...but solid.

Mac users are like a cult. But hey, it's good shit.

A fucking plague.

Since I installed Windows 7 this weekend….

Ten fucking hours!!!!

Microsoft whores!!!!!

I had to find ways to amuse myself between restarts and fuck-ups.  This helped.  Plus, I was adding balance to the universe.

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45 thoughts on “If Browsers Were Dudes…

  1. My dear lady, Internet Exploder IS like a guy. It sits around your computer, takes up WAY too much space, messes up your life, is NEVER there when you need it, and is VERY likely to give you a virus even when it tells you it’s safe. Just don’t let beer near your browser, or it’ll start chatting up websites you would NEVER go near, it’ll take forever to get going in the morning, and it will inevitably end up rolfing all over your desk! 😀
    I tend to think of Firefox as the sweetie who’ll never let you down. Firefox ain’t failed me yet! (Knocks wood.) I’d much rather have a Mac, but then again, I’d also love to have a Mercedes E-class station wagon. Just one TEENY little problem – $$$$$$$

  2. By the way, where’s Bing? You could’ve had a lot of fun with that one! (But of course, you are FAR too young to remember Bing Crosby. 😉 )

    • Bing’s a search engine. (A future post?)

      I associate Bing with IE because it just showed up on that browser without an invitation. I’d use a date rapist for Bing.

    • Duh. You’re right, Bing is the new data thief …. I meant search engine. Sorry, it’s a Monday. I’m so excited over the return of Top Gear tonight! (The REAL one, not that bastardised pile of horse crap History Channel assaulted us with.) It’s like Christmas eve – I can’t wait until 9pm Eastern to see the boys again! 😀
      (Hey, I warned you WAY back I’m a gibbering gearhead!) 😉

          • I heard a story yesterday that the Mexican ambassador to the U.K. was ticked off because the guys said :

            “Cars reflect national characteristics, don’t they?… Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.”

            They then described Mexican food as “refried sick.”

            And the BBC said: Get over yourself. It’s a joke.

            • And the boys have characterised all truckers as hooker-killers. And they insult the Italians on an almost weekly basis. And they joined up with 3 hosts from a German car show by flying in in Spitfires! These guys insult EVERYBODY – including (and especially) each other. It’s an HONOUR to be insulted by them! You’ve made the world press! As someone else said, “GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!” It’s an entertainment show – sit back and enjoy! 🙂

              • If the Mayor of London, who they CONSTANTLY insulted over his congestion taxes, could come on the show and joke with Jeremy, I think the poor insecure little Mexican ambassador can handle some unflattering descriptions. Me, I want to invite the boys over and take them down some of the really cool driving roads around here. Imagine what humour the boys could extract from the Amish! 🙂

                • The Mexican official should have simply insulted their horrendous British teeth….and food. Or he could have picked his teeth with his pinky finger and said, “Meh. Your nation is shit, pendejos.”

                • The best response he could’ve given was “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear the comment. It was my siesta time!”.Followed by a good laugh, it would’ve been on EVERY news show that same day. As it was, the story DID make it (gradually) around the world, making the Mexicans look absolutely humourless. Wrong move – laugh with the guys, they leave you alone. Demand an apology, and you’ve declared war.

      • Oh, that was one of their best. Especially when they flee for their lives from the “petrol station” to Jeremy’s narration “For the next few minutes, ‘Top Gear’ became a radio show”. My absolute favourite is their African adventure. I actually teared up alongside Richard Hammond when Oliver pulled through. Reminded me of my ’73 Vega – not much too look at, very little horsepower, NO amenities, but the toughest little bit….er… bit of metal I ever drove. I miss that Vega to this very day, and it cheered me no end to see the Hamster bring it back home to Blighty. OLIVER!!!!!!!!! 😀

        • They got waterworks from me at the end of this Alabama episode when they were so moved by the horrible conditions after Katrina that they gave their cars away. 😥

        • Yeah, it was sad to see so much of New Orleans still wrecked so long after Katrina. Then again, we Americans proved our moral values when that lawyer tried to sue over the Camaro being the wrong year! Only in America could you get someone to sue you for GIVING you a free car! God, I’m so proud I’m an American sometimes. (And people wonder why I keep talking about moving to Canada…….)

          • It’s something like “Our country reeks of trees/Our yaks are really large/And they smell like rotting beef carcasses.” Look up “Ren & Stimpy” and “The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen”. Memorise the words, then go to Ottawa during a meeting of Parliament and bellow it forth from the gallery. An interesting time is GUARANTEED! 😀

              • The sad part, is I remember actual honest-to-God wooden Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys. My dad (being the guru of making wooden things) actually created some Tinker Toy bits for me. So in a way, I had Log as a kid – just in a WHOLE lotta pieces! 😀

                • My grandma used to put the Lincoln logs in front of me when I visited. Kept me busy for like 15 minutes. Poor grandma. She was so angry when I stuck pins in the light sockets and blew some massive fuse thing. 😆

                • I think I had your brother for a lab partner in high school. He wanted to see what happened when you stuck tweezers into a socket. I told him he’d get fried. He did it anyway – and blew out the power in one of the four wings (3 stories each). He survived unscathed – how, I’ll never know. By that age, I’d done enough electrical work with my dad to get zapped over a dozen times. Worst time was when I had braces – I tasted steel for a week!

          • I just SO wanted my wife to make me one of those outfits for our trip up to Ottawa. For some reason she kept refusing. Heck, I memorised the words and everything. And she just wouldn’t relent. I always thought the Canadians would be PROUD that someone from America had taken the time to learn about such an important part of their history. Instead, I put on some dumpy 60-year old green wool, and those contrary Canucks LOVED it! There is JUST no pleasing people. *SIGH!* 😉

          • Uh-oh, the wife just called. Gotta go meet her to unload the firewood. Rats – another one of our torrid afternoons together ruined! Oh well, I was getting worn out anyway.You are like a machine, M! You are just relentless! Must go off and take my vitamins. 😉
            (I may be old, but I can still duck a punch like a teen-ager!) 😀

            • You kidding? A whip is too long – too much collateral damage. That’s why I mentioned ducking punches – although in my wife’s case, it’s jumping punches. She reaches up and socks me in the knee! 😀
              Actually, she just waits until we go to various airplane museums. Then she walks under the wing, no problem, while I end up cracking my head on it. Seriously, a B-25 put me flat on my butt! And she CLAIMS she didn’t mean to do it. Yeah, right!
              Besides, if she needs weaponry, she has her own sword AND pistols. No kidding, I mean it. And her pistols are the only guns we have live ammunition for. I tell ya, I’m glad I’m the one who stays home. I’ll just scare the crap outta intruders She’ll SLAUGHTER ’em! 😀

              • Got the Kleenex ready? True story. Shortly after we moved in with our friends down here, after losing our house, I was really depressed, and muttered something about not being able to even care for my family. She said “You took care of me for 15 years, I’ll take care of you for the next 15.”
                And that is why, despite all the jokes and clowning around, you will always find me at her side. I’m her knight (and yes, I have armour), she’s my lady. “Awesome” doesn’t even begin….

    • If chrome had the drop down bar like firefox, it’d be perfect:

      I liked this song back in the day…now, I’m torn between wanting to jack her up on caffeine or to sneak up behind her and cover her mouth.

  3. is this where I get to use my shameless plug for PCLOS2010?yes it uses firefox and respects me in the morning. 🙂 no virus’ just hours of surfing enjoyment.

  4. Everytime I turn this thing on it’s one thing after another. Adobe update…more Windows explorer…do you want to reconfigure…no…no..NO! I want it to work, check out half a dozen sites, especially the two cool chicks I exchange smartass remarks with, and..turn it off. I don’t need to download software to allow me to play 7th level space chess with creatues on Omegon Persei III. Ther is real life beyond this screen you know.

  5. Cheers @ Melissa’s sharp wit–Two thumbs up! Wondering aloud if a future post will headline female examples…if so, will have to be sure to read the caption under Sarah Palin, whose lucky “explhorror” has already been used in this post.

    Have a great week, Melissa!

  6. windows 7 is an operating system too.download an OS of your choosing(I like mint but need a dvd burner to do one)burn it to a regular 700mb disk.leave it in and restart the system.You think windows is fast?try an OS that is usually around 697mb with allllll that freed up space…I like music and pictures myself.and I don’t worry about that pesky spywaremalwaretrojannewfangledbullshit that some of the antivirus vendors may or may not be writing on the side to further a profit.(problem/reaction/solution)run it live(some run slow in live mode but if installed tend to run A LOT faster.But then again I aint that picky.I have been running linux for about 6 or 7 years now I think.and if the “test drive” is not to your taste then try another one.there are literally hundreds.look at “red hat”

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