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Loving a world with stereotypes turned upside down.

A husband in Germany sought police intervention to protect him from his sex-crazed wife of 18 years.

The family man told law enforcement he was forced to sleep on the couch to try to escape her insatiable appetites.  Police report:

….his wife keeps coming into the living room demanding him to perform his marital duties. He asked for police help in getting some sleep at night.” (Source: AFP)

The father of two is filing for divorce and hopes one day he can go to work well-rested.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

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47 thoughts on “To Men: Shut-up and Put Out

  1. You know, there is just no pleasing some people (pun FULLY intended). Guys who are getting it don’t want it, and guys not getting it think of nothing else. The most pathetic thing I ever saw was a co-worker carrying a pager from his wife. OK, he’s a consultant, she needs to contact him wherever, no problem. One day his pager goes off, he sighs and grabs his coat. What’s up? “The wife’s temperature is optimum, so I have to go home and make love to her so we can have a kid.” He HAS to make love to his wife. I hadn’t had a date since, well, NEVER, and he HAS to go make love to his wife. You know, he was skinny, the body would have been easy to dispose of, and the wife would’ve been grateful for a POSITIVE attitude. And I did have a tire iron convenient in the trunk, and my Cavalier’s trunk EASILY takes a 6’2″ strapping Amish guy…….

    • Sorry, I confused the issue. The guy with the wife was “English”, as the Amish refer to us – just a regular big-city working schlub. I just wanted to illustrate that my Cavalier can carry a 6’2″ well-built Amish guy in the trunk – or two skinny teen-age Amish. And don’t ask how I know that – the statute of limitations hasn’t run out yet…..

      • Well, I have no sympathy for this man. Baby-making sex should be rocking. #1 Babies rule, #2 His DNA lives on. #3 Seems like dull karma for a baby to come into existence under obligatory, perfunctory sex. There should be fireworks….hmmm, and a lawn sign–in neon.

      • Fireworks? Well, okay. But a neon lawn-sign? You know how much one of those suckers COST? And how much electricity they use? Those things will destroy the ecosystem! You have to go with things that won’t harm our fragile planet. That’s why you set the atmosphere – a nice wood fire, scented oils made from endangered species, maybe some sexy lingerie made of some nice synthetic material, laying on a nice polar bear skin rug, some champagne in plastic glasses – you know, all those things that WON’T endanger the planet!
        (I subscribe to one car magazine’s concept of green technology. We all need to get vehicles that get no MORE than 8 mpg. The sooner we use up the gas, the sooner we get green alternatives, right? 😀 )

        • Are you insinuating I DON’T put out? Or just that I need to shut up (no argument there!)? I’ll have you know I’m VERY romantic. Why, the second date I had with my wife-to-be, I showed her a truly unique time! I spent hours rolfing into her toilet! (Food poisoning, seriously. I had forced myself to quit alcohol by that time.) Then I had her drive me to the airport to go see another woman! Now, how many second dates like that have YOU had? (O Lord, please, PLEASE say none! 😀 )

          • Does it help that I was out with another woman who took me to a restaurant notorious for making out of towners sick? OK, OK, I gotta come clean. I was in Dallas to see the lady who got me sick. My wife-to-be was kind enough to step in and take care of me. And I was scheduled to fly out to Houston, to go to a (previously booked) sci-fi convention to meet my celebrity friend Grace Lee Whitney, which put me into the proper situation to end up being Grace’s escort on the Trek Cruise later that year. Matter of fact, Gracie brought me and my wife together! How many people have ended up married because of an actress on Star Trek? (Actually, a frightening number – one of the many scary sides of sci-fi fandom! 😀 )

            • Actually, in the story of finding my wife, there are 2 men, 3 women (Grace actually being the most important player), 7 conventions, 5 states, 6 cities, several thousand miles of air travel, an apartment for her in Dallas, one rental truck, 4 rental cars, one Pinto (don’t ask – it’s safer), 6 months, and enough telephone calls to earn me my own area code. The romance part is a cute story – the logistics of the operation are LEGENDARY! (Oops, forgot two cruise ships in there!) 😀

    • I tried all my sources, including some really trashy Canadian “news” papers and my German sources. No luck. Then again, if I was this pinhead, I wouldn’t want MY face in a photo, either. Although, I could think of one or two guys I know that I’d like to FRAME…(rimshot!) 😀

    • I tried to find his name, too. That’s why he’s called a husband, family man, and father of two instead of Fred or whatever his name is.

      The police (in the interest of preserving male dignity) have kept his name out of the media. 😡

  2. When guys are young, they want it all the time and the gals don’t. By the middle years, women want it all the time and the guy will find a dozen reasons not to. Saddest of all are the modern male youth who prefer playing video games than fooling around with girls. I fear the human race may die out soon.

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