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We may all die.

A low pressure system will collide with a cold air mass right over my head.  This is supposed to be the time of year when TV weather people say:

It’s gonna be cold and then some more cold.  Oh, look! In two days it will still be cold.  Five day forecast? Cold.”

Cold in Alabama starts in the 40s.  A daytime high in the 40s is acceptable; in the 30s, we whine.  Our coats are never thick enough.  For weather forecasters, it’s the lazy season.  I knew the predicted winter storm was serious because the experts were sounding the alarms a full two days ahead of time and on a Friday no less, the laziest of all days in television news.

Top biggest butt pains that companion snowfall in Alabama:

  1. My driveway looks like this.
  2. The bread aisle looks like this.
  3. The milk aisle looks like this.
  4. I have 16 trees in my yard.
  5. The school year is extended a day.

Now I have to go to the grocery store and fight with soccer moms and old ladies for the remaining bread and milk.

(Southerners make French toast when snowbound 😉 )

Update 1/9/11 5 p.m.: The French toast is delicious, and everything outside is coated with ice. Weird.

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33 thoughts on “Southern Snow Sissies

  1. Amusing that people panick enough to buy food for 6 months but not enough to acknowledge climate change… I guess bread is more affordable than reality… 🙂

  2. you have coats? lucky! down here, when it gets cold, everyone dresses like homeless people. we wear all the clothing we have at once, and nobody can bend their elbows or knees.

    • You know, I wondered what cold was like for you as I was putting this together.

      We start to look homeless at around 22 degrees or lower. The hole in my gloves (that don’t match) helps.

      • i’m embarrassed 😳 whenever it gets cold here. i grew up in the catskills in new yawk, and when we were kids, we’d come down here and go swimming when it was 60 degrees. after living here for so many years, when it’s 60 degrees, i’m wearing sweatpants, 3 shirts, and thinking of things that take a while to cook in the oven so the house warms up.

  3. Great comic relief gals. Reminds me of my one winter in Key West when it actually got down to 45 degrees one time! Even the coldest days, you drive by the beaches and there they are, yankees from far and wide out there splashing in the surf and swimming! Now my new idea of snow is to go up on Tioga Pass in the summertime and see the snow that is as thick as you are tall right beside the road. I’ll be up there six months from now and will sit in the snowbank and think of Texas.

  4. Ah yes — the White Death is upon you. But YIKES … snow is one thing, ice another – especially in areas like yours that don’t normally get much.

    I was vacationing in Orange Beach last February … damn was it cold! But watching the Mobile news show 3″ of snow (huge flakes falling) was interesting. Of course listening to the reactions was even better.

    Then again, I’m used to salt to treat roads – NOT sand!

    Just hunker down, get a glass of your favorite beverage, and stay safe.

  5. When I was a newbie living in Minnesota, driving to work one day, I tried to pour warm water on my windshield in an attempt to get rid of the ice. Got a brain freeze after hanging my head out the window to see the highway. Never did that again.

    • Whoa. It’s amazing what becomes a scraper around here since they haven’t been invented in the South. I’ve used clipboards, key rings, my shoe. And I NEVER plan for scraping time. 😉

  6. Oh, well. This was an AWESOME way to kill some time on my snow day. It is snowing here and snowed like it was coming out of buckets all night last night. NC is not much better off in the snow, but I do have cute winter clothes 😉 and I think Charlotte invested in some plows after all the belligerent northern people moved down here and complained about how stoopid we are when it snows, yo.

  7. took yesterday off.tried to work today-got sent home early.Will try again tomorrow.These hillbillies would shit out little yellow canaries if it snowed for real,here.I seen 10’high plow thingies on the sides of the highway..I can take a bit of snow and ice.Might even have a bit in my blood.

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