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A worshipful bow to Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Thank the Deities of the World that you have me.  I’ve seen the signs, and I’m here to report.

Republicans are ready to take over the U.S. House of Representatives in an unholy reign of terror lame.  First item on the agenda: fantasies about butt-fucking the elderly, poor, and middle-class with a threat of a healthcare reform repeal.

What’s that Mercutio (subbing for Mercury, messenger of the Gods)?  “A plague on your House!  A plague on your House!”

Cue Gods: Plagues.

Dozens of blackbirds found dead in the yard of a Kentucky resident (instead of in a pie where they belong).

500 Red-winged blackbirds and starlings fall dead and dying from the Louisiana skies.

Thousands of dead red-winged blackbirds rain on Arkansas.

Hundreds of thousands of fish dead in Arkansas.

PsssssssttT!  Gods, could you, please, go easy on nature?  Obama will veto the bullshit.

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27 thoughts on “Republicans Piss Off the Gods

  1. Your listed plagues is quite compelling. Others?

    Rand Paul moving in with his dad in Washington.

    Michelle Bachmann threatening Speaker Boehner have Tea Partiers leave the GOP.

    A day without Palin in the news … oh crap – that didn’t happen.

    Me winning the upcoming Mega Millions drawing!

    • 😀 I’d say Moses needed an Aaron, but I don’t want lightning to strike me. I only have so much pull. 😀

      Hmmm. I’m thinking of ways to spend your Mega Millions. I’ll get back to you, Frank. 😉

  2. Soon, a prophet will split the waters of the Michigan lake and decent people are going to see freedom in Canada.

  3. I was speaking with a co-worker last night and she asked me about the birds and fish dying off.I said that I had already heard of it and was not surprised.some “scientist”(coughcoughbullshithackcoughcough)said it was because of the fireworks(see above coughing fit).I have my own theories on the matter that have nothing to do with deities-however I rule nothing out,and one of my favorite questions to pose to people is what if evolution was how God did creation.Just my .02

      • OMG … Not only is Cincinnati a GOP stronghold and home to the new Speaker, it’s also home to the Creation Museum. In other words, tell you friends to Vacation Cincinnati … plus we well probably have an Arc Amusement Park soon by the same group as the museum!

        Otherwise, don’t get me going on that topic.

        • I guess having Kentucky up Ohio’s geographical rectum does not help! Maybe Cincinnati will build a Six Flags over Mean Jesus (the imposter worshiped by fundaMENTALists). 😯

          • Having the museum nearby allows for “interesting” comments via Letters to the Editor. Now the proposed Arc amusement park is an interesting topic in itself … and one I hope to write about next week. However, and thankfully, not all of Cincinnati supports either of these places … and don’t forget, we also had the Big Butter Jesus statue.

  4. Birds are confusing. Sometimes God makes them drop to warn of the apocalpyse. Sometimes, God just asks the birds to take care of business:

    Theology is complicated.

  5. Way off-topic, but I thought of you when reading a NYT article the other day about Skinny Dick contemplating a heart transplant. How can that be? He’d have to have one to remove, right?

    • End times is the perfect segue to Cheney the Robot Anti-Christ, Ian. 😀

      Every story that has the words “Cheney” and “heart” confuses me. Maybe for the purpose of convenience, media reports are using “heart” to describe the fusion of cyber hardware and a primitive reptile cardiac system.

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