Nobel Piece Prize
Glitter Graphics

My mom, being more awesome than China, has awarded the Nobel Piece* Prize to Wikileaks tattletale, Julian Assange.

Ha, ha.  I said, “tale.”

My mom meant “peace,” but I’m taking liberties…

….Not taking liberties literally like the Department of Jerkoffs Justice means to do by meddling with Freedom of the Press because the government is embarrassed to be depantsed by Assange and his organization. (NYT)

My mom is a Republican, and she loves Assange.  She thinks it’s funny that Hillary (she likes her) wanted to spy on people at the UN, and Mom’s suspicions on Putin were supported.  She’s also pretty excited about the upcoming UFO information, Wikileaks will release.

“Wikileaks is the National Enquirer of Politics!  Why aren’t politics always presented this way?  Then maybe it wouldn’t put me to sleep.”  –Mom

She wants him to have the Peace Prize because having hypocrisy exposed and dirty laundry aired just might make everyone behave a little better.

Yay, Mom!

The legal gymnastics/semantics it will take to charge Assange in the U.S. with espionage is a lowdown dirty shame.  Espionage attempts to give one nation an advantage over the other.  Wikileaks gave all the people of the world the advantage over government.  The organization didn’t play favorites.

Advice to women now that Assange is out on bail: three condoms secured with a cockring, and seize the piece*.

*Piece defined.


64 thoughts on “Assange for Nobel Piece Prize

        • They vote Republican, but they were for healthcare, against Cheney. Imo, they don’t see what Republican policy does to poor people and minorities. They’re so generous, and they believe all Republicans are like them. They are business owners and approach politics from that angle.

          I think I’ve mentioned before they were putting people up for free after Katrina, and they never expected or asked for compensation. I was moved by that.

  1. Now your Mom must be a hoot … especially for a Republican.

    The bouncin’ babes was worth the second look in recent days.

    On your advice to the women … you forget to also mention that “he’s hung like a gnat.”

  2. Let me see if I can do this Andy Levy(not sure of the spelling but is my fav on “Redeye”)
    Advice to women was FUCKING CLASSIC!
    Since you were 3? I don’t really know what to say.I can’t recall how long I been saying it.So yeah,you may have learned it from your mom….Hell,I might have learned it from your mom,too.
    The cocktail frank in a quilt was FUCKING PRICELESS!!!!!
    They make my size condom but I can only steal them from the first aid kit at work(they also double nicely for if an employee has to wear a band-aid on a finger,it can be covered up with a latex roll up type cover-I don’t know what the fucking things are called.)
    the first video was so cool I am gonna get my son a set for Christmas
    And finally,I did not know your mom followed wikileaks.

  3. Yes, before you born. I’ve also had my mouth washed out with soap…well, I had to bite it and spit. It burned. A hideous punishment because the neighbor heard me.

    Usually she’s into crime news, maybe to keep up with the thrill of her deputy sheriff days. But lately it’s Wikileaks. 🙂

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