Big Dummy of Criminals
Personalized Glitter Graphics

Gregory Liascos had big plans for the $250,000 worth of gold on display in the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals.

He posed as a museum patron overwrought with constipation to explain his long restroom trips.  Secretly, he had been digging a hole in the bathroom wall to the elevator shaft that leads to the museum.  His excavations were concealed because he dug behind that metal thing that dispenses butt protectors.

A meddling caretaker noticed bits of dust and debris on the restroom floor.  The bathroom was only accessible from outside.  After several days he looked behind the butt protector dispenser and alerted his bosses to the presence of an unauthorized hole.

Deputies rigged the area with security devices.

Law enforcement was alerted there was trouble at the museum Thursday around 5 AM.  A sweep of the area turned up a backpack and bike, but no suspect until a police dog started attacking the ground.

The ground squealed in pain because it was in fact the 36 year old Mr. Liascos.

Liascos had no criminal record, but now looks forward to serving time for burglary and criminal mischief.


37 thoughts on “Burglar’s Ass is Grass

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