Icky Perv Guy
h/t Jeffinator & the Smoking Gun

The California Highway Patrol finds out the icky way that sometimes an anal vibrator is just an anal vibrator…and not a suicide bomb.

Seriously, boys.  Does Mr. Faces-of-Meth LOOK like he has a single, goddamn commitment to any ideology at all?  Any??  Ya’ll need to work on those mad profiling skillz.

CHP busted Steven Ferrini on a drug charge.

Blow me over with a bunny fart.

Officers discovered an on/off switch in Ferrini’s pocket during a search.  The switch had a wire extending around into the 60-year-old’s bunghole.  The suspect then thought he’d be funny with law enforcement by talking about his expertise in explosives.  The El Dorado County bomb squad was summoned.

If I was the evidence collector, this’d be about the time I’d fucking quit!

3 hours later…the team determined the device was safe.

Biggest asshole ever!!!!!!!


24 thoughts on “Butt Officer? It’s just a….

  1. That’s hilarious. If I were prone to running around with dildo’s inserted into my hinter region I’d have probably had a little fun with the cops too. Hell….why not?

    • Well, Mr. Booty Fetish got his heinie some attention. That’s for sure. All the probing and bomb robots, a fucking team of explosive experts! He may ride that sexy time memory for the rest of his life.

        • You’re like p-p-psychic and shit. I wasn’t exactly a tomboy, but there were only boys on my street growing up. Mischievous ones. 🙂

          • “You’re like p-p-psychic and shit. I wasn’t exactly a tomboy, but there were only boys on my street growing up. Mischievous ones.”
            Sean and Timmy?The twins.on the base in Nawlins?
            I think the name of the street was Bon Home Richard(I think it was pronounced reeshard?) I have a small scar on the back of my leg from you or Mels bike.

            • I forgot about Sean and Timmy! Timmy was the stinker. Poor Sean. I’d walk up to him and push him or wedgie him, thinking it was Timmy.

              Living so close to the Mississippi ruled! I used to sneak Kong’s fishing gear and go to that abandoned dock. I have a scar on my left leg from reeling in a catfish. It attacked me with it’s pointy fin.

              And I think it was my bike that attacked you. The green one? The seat fell off or something.

    • Jerry. Do you think the Bobbit story will have the same staying power (snicker) as say Lizzie Bordon? A hundred years from now maybe little children will recite a Bobbit rhyme the way I used to recite the whole, “Lizzie Bordon took an ax and gave her mother 40 whacks.”

      • It would make a great folk tale if, after she threw it out the car window, a passing dog found it and raised as one of its own. In these modern times, it might even qualify for a childrens Golden Book. I was going to make a crude joke about 40 whacks but there are ladies present.

    • Completely true. A fiction author once told me he always scanned the news for his truly, crazy unbelievable stuff.

      And thanks! 🙂

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