Think of all the fucked-up, dysfunctional, inbred neighbors you’ve ever had. Everyone’s teeth were discolored from nutritional deficiencies. The oldest child appeared as if he generally consumed all the food in the house while the seven younger siblings looked to be in the throes of starvation. They were all held back at least one grade level. The youngest child pooped in your backyard. The mother slept all day and worked nights, and the father was mostly heard using a drunken slur as he yelled obscenities at the kids, but strangely he was rarely spotted. The dog barked constantly and looked better fed than the oldest child.
I’m drawing on about 6 crazy neighbor families over my lifetime for that description. Just so ya know.
This is where I had to go in my head to come up with something analogous (as a personal comprehension strategy) for the fuckupitudeness of North Korea.
Fathom if you will a comedy so bad, it makes Rich Little’s performance for President Bush seem like the gut-splitting brainchild of Robin Williams, George Carlin, and Richard Pryor.
Aw, yeah. That’s a lot of sucking.
Yet, Kim Jong Il Tv pulls it off. As North Korea runs out of food in mid-April, one of the world’s longest airing comedies, the communist country’s “It’s So Funny” on state tv extols the virtues and jocularity of….
wait for it…
wait for it…
wait for it….
More precisely…growing beans the way General Kim Jong Il tells you to so North Korean soldiers can be happy.
So many chuckles to mine from a nation fixin’ to starve…so little time!
Starvation time in North Korea actually has a name: choongoong or spring poverty. The people know they will live on rations to nothing until summer crops can be harvested.
The Wall Street Journal writes about the clusterfuck in trying to guarantee the humane distribution of food donated from around the world. The North Korean government plays favorites on who gets food.
All this as the soldier comedians on tv sing about medicine made from beans making a man look more handsome.
And Kim Jong Il…”He had tried so hard to fill the people’s tables.”
Jesus Christ. I’d be an execution waiting to happen in a place like that.
I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone have given us the character of North Korea’s dictator better than anybody else: