I guess dignity is too big to pack!
The staff at Andy’s Motel had the pleasure of meeting “Indiana” Monday morning. The resident artist and housekeeper first encountered this delicate Midwestern flower as she staggered against a railing, grabbed hold of it with one hand, and dropped her bikini bottoms with the other,
and she started whizzing like she had a fire hose between her legs! I’ve never seen anything like it! It was gross.” —Justin resident artist (in disbelief)
“Aw, man. I wish I never saw that.” –Alex from Housekeeping (grimacing as if the girl had destroyed his notion of feminity forever)
Justin yelled out in very colorful language that she cease and desist to which she responded by shooting him the bird. She then stood up and re-girded her loins with the bottom half of her swim suit. Justin warned her not to step in her own pee. She stepped in her own pee and flipped off Justin again.
Mind you. This is before noon.
She then tried to exit the premises from Justin’s private deck where there is no exit. Justin (recovering from the grossness because he realizes the young woman needs help) tries to explain she cannot leave that way. Justin gets the finger again for his trouble.
He points her towards the exit. She does a stumbly saunter by the office and sits in the middle of the driveway. Justin comes in the office to apprise my mom. The young lady doesn’t know where she is or where she is staying except that she points West consistently when asked. Justin calls her into the office.
She lets us know she is from Indiana, and she is SO drunk.
(Which…we kinda figured out the latter.)
We suggest she call friends first. She calls out the address which I write down. My sister calls a taxi. Moments later she calls her friends to ask when they are picking her up. She calls out an address with different numbers which I again write down. My sister takes the phone and talks to her friends to make sure we have the right numbers to give the cabbie. She calls her friends one more time wondering where they are.
Her taxi arrives, and I hand him the address. Indiana tells me she is not paying (as if the driver is deaf) then plops down in the front seat. I head back into the office wondering if she’ll puke en route.