Well, it’s been a Wednesday to Wednesday, and I thought I’d let ya’ll know how giving up the F-word is going. First of all, I hate it. I feel like Eric Cartman with a V-chip.
I was the little girl who bounced on her pogo stick in front of the neighbor’s house yelling F&@& every time the pole smacked the sidewalk. Pauline. She threw me under the bus to my mom. I had my mouth washed out with soap. Blecchh.
But…I’m thinking this was a good choice. I’m actually conscientious now of what makes me say f#@&.
- Van Gogh the Cat when he does a drive by on me (he runs full speed at me and uses my body to ricochet to somewhere else. …it’s REALLY annoying.)
- Watching sports
- The news.
- The cashier lady at WalMart when she didn’t laugh at my laughing at her for her thinking I might be less than 21. I did wait until I was in the parking lot before I was all, well, f#@& her for not getting the f#@&ing joke.
- And a certain reoccurring thing that will go unnamed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. (It’s a f#@&ing biggie.)
Now the silliest part of all this is that saying f#@&, then realizing I said it as the “k” sound clicks in the roof of my mouth, inevitablly results in a shit or goddamn. So, I may actually be doubling the cussing on some of these days. I don’t know.
The graph tells the story. I’m trending down. Day’s not over, but I might get some zero days in before this is over with.
Special thanks to U.S. taxpayers for the bitchin’ graph from the National Center for Education Statistics. You, too, can make your own graphs though you’ll have to finish it in picnik or blingee for the cutesie pictures. 🙂
WriteChic Press 
i’m so fuc….darned proud of you! actually, i started easing off on my use of the f word a while ago (if only in the blogosphere). there is one commenter in particular who i think is uncomfortable around that kind of language, and even though he never complained, i still thought i would try to use it sparingly. it forces me to express myself differently, so it’s a good brain exercise for me, too.
That’s the best part of the Lent game 🙂 –seeing if I’ll eventually get some fancy adjectives in there. Though there really is no better substitution for an exclamation:
(not for work!)
Funny bit.
Interesting to note the number of misspellings in it though. They did get ‘fuck’ right every time, but how about ‘centence’ and ‘incompitance’ and ‘disatisfaction’. There’s something fucked about that.
I love the guy’s voice. The misspellings add a bit of the cringe factor. Sentience is so off the mark it makes me wonder if the gfx editor’s first language is English. But maybe he was all…F it.
You? Cringe? No way!
But the whole thing was just the right degree of funny. I was able to laugh without spitting out my coffee, which, had that happened, would have elicited a series of f, c, and s words colorfully strung together in a manner that would have seriously embarrassed my cats. Not to mention wasting good coffee, which at this hour of the morning is simply not done in my circle of one.
Prolix, very prolix. Perhaps less coffee is called for…
that was fuc…..oops! 😳 that was quite impressive.
Hey, Thursday was my first f#@& free day! Go me! 🙂
Yugo, girl! 😀
I’m starting to catch myself when I’m forming the F. Haven’t said it today, either. Though I may hit a track and field event later at the high school.
Me + Sports=F word.
That’s as sure as laws of thermodynamics.
Perhaps you could adopt Battlestar Galactica’s favorite curse. It sort of gets you there, but doesn’t offend anyone. BG fans will know what you mean, and most likely will laugh. Mere humans won’t know, will think you’re just being loud and rude, but won’t be particularly offended. And best of all – it begins with F.
Glad to be of service, young woman.
😀
I should get you the F-bomb they sell at Perpetualkid.com … for those times when ya just GOTTA!
Yes! And I want monster hands!
Congratulations on cutting back. Obviously it’s important to you or you wouldn’t go to so much trouble to avoid saying ‘fuck’.
But the real question is when are going to stop saying ‘f#@&’.
Well, it’s not like giving up candy. But it would be cool if candy just flew into my mouth the way the f#@&s fly out. 🙂
Ah, a sweet tooth on top of everything else.
BTW, how do you pronounce f#@&? Just curious.
🙂
I take pride in the fact I’ve only written the word twice. Once it just slipped. Another time, it was a tag, an F-U to bankers. 🙂
That was for posterity. I had to.
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
– John Wayne
Oooo, a fb friend sent me this. 🙂
Best. Post. Ever.
Hey, Helen! 🙂
I just had my first F-free day Thursday. Yay! I knew I included a zero on that graph for a reason.
hey look, melissa! you’ve inspired so many!
See how I do. 😆
I was mortified yesterday to see some Catholic School in Canada on this story. I was all yellin’ at the traffic feed….”Step away from the light, Carol Ann.”
“When we’re at our grandmother’s house,” said Anthony Portantino, D-La Canada/Flintridge, “we have respect and decorum.”
Yeah? And what if sweet old gran worked the docks and can outcuss any linguistics professor on earth?
I’m just saying…
Grandma was a stevedore. Sounds like a country song. 🙂
Fuck it!
Never believed in Lent, but I don’t use it much, since I’ve tapped into a bunch of damn Christians on Facebook…
Hey, Glynn! Copy that F word. 🙂
I have a buttload of my kids’ friends and my own kids that I block my posts to. Holy rollin’ doesn’t bug me much if the people aren’t assholes. Those passive aggressive messages along the lines of “if you love Jesus and you know he is your Lord and Savior and you don’t want to be in dangers of hellfire and damnation, then post this as your status.” That is TOO effing funny!!!
I understand why people cling to religion and guns (oh yeah, bitches, i said it 🙂 ), but generally religion looks like a big, silly contest. I also have some religious ideas I like, but they are nobody’s goddamn business. Except shunning…I can think of plenty I’d whip that one on.
As for Lent, it’s a good exercise in self-discipline for me. Plus, I get to show my kids that their only allegiance is to good ideas (i.e. self-discipline), not to any particular religion. They get to own their own souls.
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Bonus! 🙂
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Lemme just wrap this up with giving up the fuck word fucking sucked, fucking big time.
Oh, and fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m never doing that again!
Never doing what again? Your second paragraph is a big ambiguous. Wouldn’t want you to go overboard and make big life changes.
…bit ambiguous…
Come to think about it, that is a rather big ambiguity…
Are you fucking with me or are you done fucking with me?
😀
Can you imagine the extraordinary restraint I had to exercise with news coming down about Pope Hitler Britches protecting perverts! I confess I had a 50 fuck words day in the middle of all that.
You showed remarkable restraint, restraint becoming a Queen!
But the ‘middle of that’ was, I suspect, sometime in the twelfth or thirteenth century.
Well, you know I meant the middle of the story breaking. But ew. I know. Filthy fucks.
I have not yet begun to fuck with you. Either that or it happened so fast I fucking missed it.
And don’t you feel so much freer now? 🙂
Yes, much freer except can you believe it’s caused me a bit of brain damage! It doesn’t flow out anymore like poetry. It’s like my mind stutters, hesitates before the cerebral governor allows the tongue to go with it.
Well fuck, woman, stop fucking around, defuck the cerebrum, tell the stutters to fuck off, get out the fucking poetry books and read the fucking words until poetry comes pouring the fuck out of you. Get back on the fucking horse and start fucking seriously with the fucking words again, and loosen up your fucking tongue. Are we fucking clear on what the fuck you’ve got to fucking do now? Jeez, get with the fucking program.
(There. That should do it. Fucking ay!)
Geesh. Bossy. 🙂
Just trying to be helpful in my own inimitable fucking way. Lifting the burden from your cerebral governor and your tongue, so to speak. As it were. And so on.
(Or possibly I’m just angling for another grass-fed burger. Even I can’t tell anymore.)
Were you born cool? Or did you wake up one day, and you were all: OH MY GOD!!! I’M SO FUCKING COOL!!!
(no brain stutters!) 🙂
I got my cool the old-fashioned way. I earned it. And then I woke up one morning and I was all OH MY GOD!! I AM SO FUCKING COOL!! Shortly after that I became a full-fledged atheist. Really, all I wanted to do was impress the girls.
Glad to see you’ve gotten over the stutters. They just don’t become you. Be free, girl, be FREEEEEEEE!!
I just wanted to see if I could do rigid. Experimentin’ ~n~ stuff. 😉
Rigid is for ideologues.
I tried. And it made me a little bit retarded. I’ve learned.
See? It’s Palinesque. But I can tell – you’re smart again.
Awesome. 😀