Sex will save China!

Get busy, China!

To keep production levels high, the head of population and family planning Zhang Feng in Guangdong, China wants more attention given to people’s sex lives.

Feng believes that many in the migrant worker population in his province are suffering from “severe sexual repression.” Lack of education and frustration are driving them to unsafe practices, if they’re getting any at all.

What!  Shrinking penises means shrinking production means shrinking world-wide worker dominance!

Feng notes a spike in STDs (性病) in his area.


He suspects prostitutes have something to do with it.  Although severe sexual repression is not limited to males, 36% of married men are reported as suffering from the condition, and that’s not good for production:

Again this year, I am asking for the government to do the research. Migrant workers will develop less interest in work if they cannot satisfy their sex needs,” Zhang said.

I’m just hoping the PSA ads look better than this:

Guangdong migrant workers often come from poorer agricultural areas to make better pay in a factory.


20 thoughts on “You Must Have Sex for China! (您必須為中國性交!)

  1. There are so many things I could say on this one that would be wrong. For some reason I can’t get the music from “Me So Horny” by the 2 Live Crew out of my head now.

    I wonder if this was proposed here in the U.S. who would be against it?

    • Well Alabama definitely needs to institute this. If the good people of Alabama were getting laid at regular intervals, I’m sure they wouldn’t be quite so mean about everything.

      And “We Must Have (Safe) Sex for Alabama” is so much better than the actual billboard in Bessemer that reads, “WE’RE NUMBER ONE IN SYPHILIS!!!” I mean fucking ew, ew, ew, ick.

      • Your esteemed Senator Shelby might benefit from getting laid more often. He just blocked all of Obama’s nominations, in essence committing an act of extortion to get some money for a couple of projects in Alabama. He’s apparently not getting enough, so he’s decided to screw the country’s political process. Story at TPM.

        The logical, if outrageous and nonsensical, outcome will be that when Shelby has sated his ego and released the hold on nominations, another Rethuglican will step up and do the same thing.

        Ain’t American democracy just wonderful?

      • USA! USA! USA!

        Actually, I’ve been thinking that what the Deep South really needs is more northerners to move there, to disrupt their self-abusive voting patterns.

        • Bad idea. Then they’ll just start abusing the Northerners. Pretty soon there will be mutual abuse, the two sides will be in a relationship, there’ll be in-laws, then feuds and food fights… it’s just not a pretty picture.

  2. Sorry to go off topic, but….
    Viewing that Wendy’s ad made me feel very old.
    Just when was that from, anyway? Reagan’s 1st term?
    Not much has changed, really, just the actors.

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