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Thank God!

And thank God, his Holiness is screening films for satanic messages instead of demanding worldwide attention to hunger, war orphans, disease, and greed!

I put the long version of the movie trailer up in case you haven’t seen it.

Ol’ Scratch rears his head at every turn!!!

Please feel free to document all references to Beelzebub for the good of the world down here in the comments section.

YOUR SALVATION DEPENDS ON IT!!!!

Thanks for the floor. 😉

Huffington Post

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26 thoughts on “Pope Uncovers Secret Devil Messages in Avatar

  1. this was easy, the marines are the missionaries, the blue savages are the new world heathens resisiting the saving blood of christ, they are blue because hell has no light and is cold and blue in the core, the missionaries could not convert the heathens so they must kill them so the unchosen can go live with the almighty so they don’t…

    wait, this doesn’t seem very secret or hidden

  2. this is exciting! 😮 there won’t be any more monk episodes, so why not fill the hour on USA network with an upgrade, pope?! the pontiff solves mysteries without even having to leave the vatican! maybe he can have a flying nun or something like that for a sidekick. i have to write to the network now before someone steals my idea!

    • Yes! And it’ll be reality TV style, and there can even be a “red shoe” cam. Or hat cam! Bring back Sally Fields! She’ll look young next to him.

      This is gonna be bitchin’!

      • hat cam, i like it! ooh! he can have different cool hats with different gizmos attached, like inspector gadget! every shoe company will be dying to supply shoes so they can get the free advertising.

  3. For the love of pete! St. Pete! If I had the audience Pope Benedict has, I wouldn’t be wasting my time on this. I’d be on that balcony at the Vatican with a megaphone shouting, “all hands on deck in Haiti.”

    I guess that’s why I’m not the pope.

    (I would definitely watch your show, Miss Nonnie.)

  4. It’s a well known fact that every night the Poop plays ‘Doom’ on his PC for a couple of hours before saying his bedtime prayers. He believes ‘Doom’ documents the gate of Hell and contains the secrets of how to close it. It’s no wonder he sees demonish thingies in Avatar. There are definitely secrets in ‘Doom’ – the only way to beat a couple of the level bosses is to cheat (or so I’m told – not like I’ve ever had to cheat the game – well, maybe sort of a couple of times, but I was just trying to help out old Poop Jonny Ratz.)

      • Or maybe a long pope dress. Or a really expensive dunce hat? Or is that a clown hat? Hard to tell the difference sometimes.

        I think a better name for the TV series might be Jonny Ratz, Pope Eye, or how about Pope Eye, the Ratz Man.

        Obviously haven’t had my coffee yet this morning.

        • And I’ve had too much coffee! Shoulda stopped at noon, but I needed the energy to help me pay attention to the ongoing fingernail-pulling-out-adventure that is business taxes. Blechhhh.

          • Not a good idea to pull out your fingernails while doing taxes. Blood gets on the documents and the check, and the IRS does not like to be reminded that they are bleeding people. Or rather that they are doing the dirty work of politicians who have no clue that people are pulling out their fingernails and bleeding all over government documents.

            So stop it!

            • Alas, it only FEELS like my fingernails are being pulled out. I get all hyperbolic when I’m bored out of my freaking mind, I guess. At least I’m helping my family though. 🙂 I really oughta not be bitching, but it’s my nature.

              • So, you’ve turned from an ink-stained wretch into a faux-blood stained wretch. I dunno, not thinking it’s a good trade.

                Go ahead and bitch. The world’s swirling the drain, so it won’t mind. I certainly won’t. And anyone who visits and complains should have their WriteChic license revoked.

  5. What would we do without papal movie reviews?! Just look at that glowing endorsement that “Exorcist” got in the seventies. Yea, it happened just like that. The Linda Blair sequill “Repossesed” was much more entertaining.

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