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The Catholic Church is in SHOCK after learning one of their clergy is interested in women!  Adult women even.

Father Alberto Cutié…

OMG, that’s really his name and it’s the understatement of the century!  Maybe Father Brings the Sexy…or Father Bend Me Over.  And to those who know him best (in the Biblical sense of course): Daddy.

So.  TV Notas caught the padre on the beach with a young woman’s legs wrapped around him!  You can see that hot mess here. Another photo captures the Reverend Hotness with his hand in his date’s bikini bottoms.

Behold:

"Don't call me, Father.  Call me, Daddy!"

"Don't call me, Father. Call me, Daddy!"

Reeling officials at the Catholic Archdiocese in Miami offered this insight on the scandal that is so completely out of character for the ordained:

Father Alberto is taking time to prey.”  (Okay, I took liberties with a homonym!  Sue me. 😉 )

However, a wise and elderly parishioner offered this:

I would have condemned him if it would have been a young boy, but it was a woman,” said Zunilda Junco, 81, who tries to go and see Father Hotpants every week.

I’m on her side!

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25 thoughts on “Priest Caught in Affair with Grown Woman!

  1. I wonder if the same people who were upset over President Obama being invited to speak at Notre Dame will speak up and protest this. How about a petition against perverted Priest? But I doubt they’ll say anything at all.

    Now the brown haired woman dancing on the picture looks kind of like… Well never mind. 🙂

    Good Post.

  2. I still think his name is the best part of this story – well that and parishoners being thankful he bagged a bitch instead of a boy!

  3. Holy crap. That is REALLY his name??? LOL It definitely fits!

    I just don’t get why anyone would subject themselves to a life of celibacy. Doesn’t make any sense!!!!

    • I really doubt you were an altar boy if you can’t even spell “altar.” (“Alter” means to change something.) But if you were, you didn’t learn much. I was an altar boy for many years and never had a single priest try anything inappropriate. You sound like you’re implying they were all over you. The fact is, less than 1% of the priesthood has been involved in pedophilia but from the media hype you’d think it’s universal. And people like you are just run of the mill Catholic bashers trying to smear it in everybody’s face for the thousandth time, and claiming you were an “alter” boy to make it sound authentic.

      • Wow! – Someone has some healing to do. Nevertheless, if what you are saying is true, then good for you. Perhaps I make light of a serious issue, but I am entitled to. Oh and by the way, where did you dig up that fact “less than 1% has been involved” don’t you mean less then 1% have been reported. I’d be willing to bet that there are millions of boys like me who just went on with their lives and didn’t look back.

        Alas, Fr. Zimmerman is dead, most likely in hell. As so my life goes on without a hitch. Of course until I run into some asshole who wants to put his two cents in where it doesn’t fucking belong.

      • Bad form, billcito. My diocese was infested with a priest perv ring as a kid. If Catholic was a brand of cola, they’d be so outta business. Then I was sandwiched between two monster child-fucking dioceses when the story started breaking. But if you’re down with taking up for child fuckers, try the NAMBLA site. Not me, baby.

        It’s no wonder the church came up with this logo:

        http://lifeisacookie.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/brandtastic/

        (You’ll love this, Chico.)

      • “the fact is, less than 1% of the priesthood has been involved in pedophilia but from the media hype you’d think it’s universal. ”

        I gotta take issue with this too…

        a) source?

        b) what do you mean by involved… how high is that percentage if you include all the priests who knew of wrongdoing? what of all the bishops who did nothing but move problems form diocese to another? In fact, I would argue, if you included the cover-ups, the lies, the selfish posturing,–maybe up to half of all priests have in some way been involved with child-fucking…. (i should include a source for a claim that huge and important shouldn’t I?, but I know how bad you religious types hate facts murking up these matters of faith–as testified, for example, by YOUR level of sourcing)

        c) not to be a language dork… but there’s a bit of irony in you saying this isn’t a “universal” problem… hmmmm…. Actually, what does the word Catholic mean?.. that’s right… universal…

        d) if just one tenth of one percent of all people on the planet are child-fuckers…. that would be 6.7 MILLION PEDOPHILES… that seems like a lot to me… any more than ZERO seems like a lot to me… so let me ask you… are you arguing that if only 1 percent of priests are childmolestors–it’s not a problem? perhaps some perspective is needed, homie

  4. Ya know what writechic? – I don’t know what would cause a guy to come forward after 25 or 30 years to bring all of that up again, but this time in public, in front of camers. Okay, so you file a law suit, but is there any amount of money on earth that could make up for those days? HELL NO! – I say that if you made it to where you can go a month without thinking about those days, then fuck it! – just keep on truckin. – There is way better shit to look forward to later in life. Some say that I’m lucky that I got passed it and that’s sort of an insult to me eventhough I know they mean well.
    It’s like saying “Oh you got raped? – Gee, you’re lucky he didn’t kill you, but I digress.

    Lovin the writechick press blog.

    chico brisbane

    • Spot on, Chico. Or “you got raped!!! Stop being a pussy, rape is not the norm.” Which…Jesus fucking Christ! Is this the world we live in!?! That a mind bends itself to protect a soulless institution over a soul???

  5. I am either the lucky recipient or ungrateful victim of 12 and 1/2 years of “Catholic” education, the last four with the Jebbies and I can say this: You either learned how to think, or you bought the BS.

    Clergy of any stripe are suspect.

    No religion has a monopoly on asshats.

    In all that time, I never ran into a ‘naughty’ priest.

    And at the end, they were surprised we had ‘lost the faith’.

    Sorry, Father, but you taught us how to think!

    But the reunions still kick ass, all these years later.

    Next year in PARIS!

    • Jesuits! Wow! I always like Jesuits, but they do tend trend on the asshole side of the continuum generally.

      Glad we’re on the same side, Mike! 🙂

  6. Maybe this priest will start a trend of being attracted ONLY to adults – and our children will become safe – in the church. Someones prayers have been answered.

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