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Utah State Senator Chris Buttars (R) is my undiscovered country of comedy and tragedy.  Him, and the reporters talking about Buttars.

You’ve got to see this video!

First exhibit: the disdain riding high on the chick anchor’s lip as she says:

Tonight, the exclusive story of a state senator who just refuses to stop talking.”  –Karen Carlson, Sneer Expert

Cue: Dude anchor waggling his head in the righteous dread of something after disdain:

In a new Prop 8 documentary, Senator Chris Buttars is now comparing some in the gay community to [voice flucuates down] radical Muslims [emphasis his]. –Ross Becker, Head Waggling Expert

Take Karen: as she assumes the intonations of an Avon lady or toothpaste spokesmodel:

And it comes just after a year Buttars offended many African-Americans…” –Karen Carlson  –trying really hard to be appropriately offended

Now Buttars:

Homosexuality will always be a perversion.  You say that around here now and everybody goes nuts!  But I don’t care.”

“This baby is black.  This is a dark, ugly thing.”

“They’re [gay people] mean!  They wanna talk about being nice.  They’re the meanest buggers I’ve ever seen!”

“What is the morals of a gay person?  You can’t answer that because anything goes.”

“They’re [teh gays] probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of.”  –Chris Buttars, author of Aphorisms of Hate

Buttars is like that evil uncle or second cousin that a lot of people have.  You kinda feel guilty that you haven’t turned his name over to the FBI.

What’s that line from Raising Arizona?

And it seemed real. It seemed like us. And it seemed like, well . . . our home . . . If not Arizona, then a land not too far away, where all parents are strong and wise and capable, and all children are happy and beloved.

“I dunno. Maybe it was Utah.”


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4 thoughts on “Smooth Like Buttars

  1. Hey, I know I’m worried. The fact that we’re in two wars – no problem. My house value has dropped to nothing in practical terms – because no one is able to sell a house right now – that’s OK. Our 401K – the one that represented all the saving we were able to do for retirement – is now a fraction of what it was and we’re getting close to the age when we figured we’d be using it. Nada. No worries. It’s worrying about the gay threat that keeps me up all night. Yup, it’s what two people who aren’t bothering me at all might be getting up to that’s most concerning in these trying times. Buttars has his finger on the pulse all right. Or up his ass. I get those two confused….

  2. Pingback: Smooth Like Buttars Video

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