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Jamie Dimon Cries Like a Little Girl with a Skinned Knee
What a baby.

JP Morgan Chase & Co. CEO Jamie Dimon says,  it’s “unfair” for politicians to criticize Wall Street salaries and bonuses without a full understanding of how the people come to earn their money.

Hey, Jamie !  Sister Kathy told me and the rest of my third grade class, “If the shoe fits, wear it!!!”   You’re a little old not to know that.

Dimon was paid $1 million last year and didn’t accept a bonus.

And, Jamie, I hope your name is pronounced “demon” or “de MON” because if it sounds like diamond…it’s a little like a whore being named Muffy Ucker.

President Obama and other elected officials have criticized the financial industry lately throwing around the word “idiot” and threatening holyantifrickincapitalism, Batman! pay caps.  After all, they work for us now, the American people.

But guess what!  Obama says the pay caps are just the beginning.

Companies receiving federal aid are going to have to disclose publicly all the perks and luxuries bestowed upon senior executives and provide an explanation to the taxpayers and to shareholders as to why these expenses are justified. And we’re putting a stop to these kinds of massive severance packages we’ve all read about with disgust; we’re taking the air out of the golden parachute.

Genius. Now back to Jamie:

Pay got a little exuberant and there were some legitmate complaints” cried Dimon like a little, whiny sissy. “I don’t think the president of the United States should paint everyone with the same brush.”

Back up there, Jamiekins, “Pay got a little exuberant?”  Are you kidding me????

Cry me a river, okay.  I’m all for listening to the lady feeding her kids on $176 dollars in food stamps.  You not so much.

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13 thoughts on “Boo Frickety Hoo, Jamie Dimon!

  1. Speaking of “if the shoe fits,” you’ve hit upon something with “if the name fits.” Have you noticed all the bizarre monikers? Bernie Madoff (I pronounce it “Made Off”); former asst. secretary of the treasury Kashkari (or “carry cash” if you’re wise); Lurita Doan (though I’ve seen it spelled “Doh!n”); John Yoo (as in, “eeeewwww”). I’m sure there are more, but isn’t it strange?

  2. Ha! That would be my dream gig! That, or writing a sports column … or holding Colbert’s cue cards … (or finishing this damn novel I promised myself I’d finish this year!).

  3. It’s about 2 years past driving me nuts! Nah, it’s historical fiction. I’ll tell you more about it when I am closer to having it finished. I don’t want to jinx myself!

    • JPMorgan follks reeaaallly luv him…….

      profits in excess of 10 billion, new planes etc… and a more than 20, 000 jpmorgan staff redundant globally, ….quietly , keep your mouth shut and take the money or else !
      He doesn’t care about anything except him.

  4. Jamie Dimon from hell…he is evil, inept and has basically stolen any position he has. Thought we should boycott any payments to this creepy ahole but on an afterthought American Taxpayers will be hit with the bill, cuz inept Dimon will be too big to fail. He ran horrible banks that were inept and how the heck was he allowed to steal WaMu???? What a set up.
    Dang, we need to take our country back!!!

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