Well, slap my ass and make me an instrument of pain. Where there are collection plates, let me hack a loogie. (Loogie may be a regional term. Does anybody know the universal word for phlegm ball?)
The Church of England fails the sensitivity test with their brand spankin’ new Prayer for the unemployed. It goes a little something like this:
Prayer on being made redundant
‘Redundant’ – the word says it all –
surplus to requirements.’
This is the point where I decided it was high time to declare Punch a Priest Day. However, it does get better:
Thank you, Heavenly Father, that in the middle of
I can talk to you.
Hear me as I cry out in confusion,
help me to think clearly,
and calm my soul.
As life carries on,
may I know your presence with me
each and every day.
And as I look to the future,
help me to look for fresh opportunities, for new directions.
Guide me by your Spirit,
and show me your path,
through Jesus, the way, the truth and the life. Amen.”
Who writes this stuff? Ex-drill sergeants with a “beat ’em while they’re down” philosophy? They lost me at “Redundant.” Seriously.
And in case you haven’t had enough hoity-toity condescension, here is the Prayer for Schmucky Schmucks Still Lucky Enough to Be Getting Their Serf Wages.