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Artis Brown is full of shit on behalf of Exxon Mobil.  Fine.  It’s a fucking job, right Artis?  

And Alberta, Canada is a moral shit hole full of mean people.  This particular ad reminds me of an opiate-induced version of that moment in V for Vendetta when the prime minister goes ape shit sensing his loss of power is imminent.   Artis is telling everyone “why we need them!”

A Cornell University study says the Keystone Pipeline kills more jobs than it creates.  Now some jobs would be created for Canadians…which is fine, but don’t LIE and act like this is boon for America’s unemployed.  TransCanada admits ONLY 20 FUCKING FULLTIME permanent jobs will be created in the U.S.   So, fuck you, Artis.

Plus, TransCanada claiming eminent domain rights in Midwestern America is just fucking creepy.

And I wouldn’t expect Exxon to say this, but tar sands are an absolutely filthy source of petroleum.

Artis is only half as disgusting as Erik Oswald:

Erik’s joker face could easily be  a mugshot for a pedophile teacher.  He doesn’t lie as well as Artis.  Erik’s eyes get all shifty in his ad for fracking.

Finally…

Shut up, NOAA!  I’m still disgusted with you and your capitulation to BP.  Drink some Corexit and die.

16 thoughts on “Lying Ads That Bug the Fuck Out of Me

  1. Oh yes, that perfectly innocent fracking. The process that has triggered dozens of earthquakes in northeastern Ohio, which started AND stopped within a day of the start and end of fracking procedures.
    The coal industry is SCREAMING here in Ohio. And if you find these guys disgusting, you ain’t lived until you’ve seen actors (attempting to portray teens and 20-somethings) claiming that “domestic energy is good and I’m pro-energy!”. Gee, I think everybody (except the Amish, and even most of them) is pro-energy. It’s the nasty toxic crap that the filthy coal from this area creates. Only thing worse is oil sands processing (gee, where did I hear that? ;) ).

    • I’d like to punch those high fructose corn syrup bitches right in the spleen, too. “Corn syrup makes you a fat ass faster than other types of sugar.” That would be line for the smug obesity-pusher hosting the kid’s birthday party. And my big finish, “Furthermore, high fructose corn syrup is gmo, Frankenfood. That means money-grubbing, Monsanto-GE food whores injected bacterial genes into corn, beets, and soy dna, and the guinea pigs for this are you and me.”

      • (WARNING: I am a trained professional, folks. Don’t try this at home, EVER.)
        Well, I’m gonna have to take just a WEE bit of exception on the “Frankenfoods” line. (Ducks head, waits for incoming artillery.)
        After all, most of what we eat has been manipulated by man for centuries, if not millenia. Yeah, not at the molecular level, I’ll give ya that, but we aren’t exactly the first generation of humans to tamper with stuff. Besides, I refuse to accept condemnations of genetic tampering until my hamburger actually asks me to go vegan. I’ll still EAT the dang thing – I just won’t accept condemnations until then! ;)

          • Oops – forgot about the patent-rights stuff. I kinda forget about that out here, as even the smallest “family” farms are co-owned (or co-opted) by one of the US seed companies. And I won’t even get into the petro-chemical companies’ “underwriting” of fertilizers and pesticides.
            And people wonder why the creeks around here have no fish in them…..

  2. Still, there is a strong political consensus in US and Canada that we must not try to fix climate change. Some political parties challenge the concept of climate change, but all mainstream party reject the idea of doing something about it.

    • Nothing will change until the US seaboard starts getting drowned, and then nothing will continue to happen until it dawns on the redstates that they’re for the most part further inland and *where all the [insert undesireable refugee category du jour] will move if they haveta* and *THEN* we’ll see some action.

      • It may not take that long, 0. It’s likely that the Great Methane Burp will happen long before we’re flooding. Then you’ll see some action, yes you will: pretty much everybody dies. I envision the fools in Washington, in Congress, getting all concerned at that point and making speeches accusing the Administration of not doing anything about this foreseeable disaster and threatening impeachment and other dire consequences. They’ll all be Republicans of course, and at some point in the middle of some particularly ridiculous speech a cloud of methane will roll into the chamber and kill the slimy, rotten bastards who killed the rest of us.

        Greatest Nation on Earth? Not even close. Stupidest. Most Ignorant. Greediest. Ugliest. Sickest. It’s all of that. But Great? Only if you measure greatness in bombs and guns and slaughter. Our greatest contribution to mankind in the time of global catastrophe is to show the rest of the world the most efficient way of putting our collective head up our collective ass.

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