A lot of mocking and scorn is heaped on the state of Alabama. It’s true:
- We’re mean to Mexicans.
- We have a horribly bigoted history.
- We’re gun nuts.
- We have the lion’s share of religious mental cases.
- We suck at math.
- We disdain science, particularly evolution. (We refuse to evolve.)
- We can’t fucking spell.
- Grammar? Forget about it. (Confer: Blingee Gfx “Auburn Tigers Rules” )
- Our politics range from absurd to corrupt.
Additionally, we’re a poor ass state.
All criticism we receive is answered with a point westward…
Have you seen Mississippi????? Which is totally fair.
However, there are some things you cannot deny us.
We own football!!!!!!!!! We are brilliant athletes!!!!!!!!!
Last year it was the Crimson Tide; this year it’s Auburn. Count on it. I already know they’ll win.
You can also thank Alabama for the inspiring socialist…
(a real socialist…not like Obama)
….Helen Keller who was a founding member of the ACLU and the first disabled woman to receive a University degree in America.
From Radcliffe, bitches! That’s Harvard University with a twat!
And we’ve given you Wikipedia founder…Jimmy Wales.
We’re awesome. I know. You’re welcome.
Our barbecue ribs and chocolate cream pies kick ass, too.
Critical Update: OMG!!! How could I forget???? We’re fat!!!
To which I say…have you seen Mississippi.