The Republican Tea Party Hatriots

Tim Valentine has put his wildly clever wit to coining the word, hatriot. Yes, rhymes with patriot. He enhanced my vocabulary and pretty much cheered me up after I wrote a heavy-hearted bit on the loudmouth, mean-ass, poser patriots who call themselves the Tea Party. He calls them Republican Tea Party Hatriots. Yes, the people who [...]

A Word on Health Care Reform from Paris

I was hoping my friend Veronica was in Paris doing something glamorous as an entertainment reporter.  Or maybe she was on a healing sabbatical mending her soul after losing her brother less than a year ago. But no.  She is researching and continuing to look for answers to problems with American health care.  Here’s an [...]

Not Worthy to Unloose Rep. Lewis’ Shoe

There isn’t much humor in the world for me lately with Representative John Lewis (D-GA) being called a ni@@er by loudmouth lowlifes posing as patriots.  Can you watch Representative Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO) wipe a stranger’s spit from his face and not feel queasy?  (Honest to God, it looks like there’s a white supremacist flag in [...]

China Keeping It Weird

Sichuanese businessman Chen Ming wanted to do some good in this crazy world.  That’s what gave him the idea for a weird ass theme park in China.  The Kingdom of Little People  in Yunnan province means to attract Americans and European tourists who don’t understand the Chinese. And this is gonna clear everything up?  Like we [...]

Prez Bush Thinks Haitians Have Cooties

Big Ol’ Diplomacy Fail. I never expect great things from former President George W. Bush.   Hell, I don’t expect a single string of English words to amount to a sentence if he’s speaking.  But damn. Moment of silence for peeance freeance. Particularly classless, Bush’s cootie transfer to former President Bill Clinton’s sleeve poses as [...]

Speaker Pelosi Rules Your World

I know you conservatives think Speaker Nancy Pelosi is personally coming to your home now to abort your unborn children since the reform bill has passed the House. Killing your Grandma will be left to the President, of course. Dip shits. What gems do you have lined up for Senate Reconciliation?  Birth of a Nation [...]

Bioluminescent Stuff in the Gulf

One of the highlights of this Spring vacation was a late night walk on the beach. My son, Tristan, my daughter, Alexa, her friend, Taylor, my little brother, Andy, and I headed out around midnight, after watching 2012.  13-year-old Tristan first mentioned the ground and waves were glowing.  I took him seriously and looked around, [...]

Spring Breakers Cheering Ke$ha to the Max

Spring Breakers from Alabama and Kentucky step away from the St. Patrick’s Day beer pong table to cheer for Ke$ha’s performance tonight on American Idol. Thanks, Max, for giving me a happy story to write. During the Bush years Ke$ha’s bass player, Max Bernstein, blogged regularly for the Huffington Post with the band Max and the [...]

Indiana and the Temple of Her Familiar: Another Spring Break Vignette

Generic Drunk Girl Stars as “Indiana” I guess dignity is too big to pack! The staff at Andy’s Motel had the pleasure of meeting “Indiana” Monday morning.   The resident artist and housekeeper first encountered this delicate Midwestern flower as she staggered against a railing, grabbed hold of it with one hand, and dropped her [...]

Snatch and Grab: a Spring Break Vignette

Snatch and Grab Spring Break in Panama City Beach isn’t just a time for college students to cut loose.  No.  Local girls hit the beach parties looking for love, romance, and future husbands.  Last night, two such young ladies, Ashley and Chelsey, were beach belles at the bikini ball.  No less than 6’5″ tall, Ashley [...]