Heart to Rove

OMG, Karl Rove is single! Hold on to your Vicky’s Secrets, ladies! Karl Rove is now the pastiest, viagra-poppinest, late middle-aged bachelor on the market as of last week.  A judge in Texas declared an end to the 27 year marriage of Darby Hickson and Bush’s Bagman.  This makes nuptial fail number two for Rove. [...]

Christmas Crap, frealz.

Check out this shit. When I was naughty, my mom would tell me Santa was going to bring me “switches and reindeer poop.”   I had no clue what switches were, but the idea of a stocking full of reindeer poop made me rethink the naughtiness. Until now!!! We, the unimaginative, look at reindeer poop [...]

Rep. Parker Griffith Has No Friends.

ht TPM This is the guy in the House of Representatives that just crossed over to the Republican party. No, the video is not Griffith’s resume tape to impress the GOP with his said penchant for crushing the poor and sick and making money. The ad is in fact the Republican take on Griffith during [...]

BOLO for Butt Sniffer in the UK!!

Because I’m 5… Police in Plymouth, England say to be on the lookout for a balding, middle-aged, white male who is definitely a virgin. And he has man boobs…for those of you taking this seriously. Officers warn this weirdo wants a whiff of your backside.  The suspect is seen in this surveillance video sniffing a [...]

Deck the Halls with Dissolution

Happy Christmas, now get the hell out! If this cartoon is just another day-in-life from the playbook of someone you know, it may not hurt to spice up your gift-giving with the holiday divorce voucher. Lawyers in London are ready to help out. Lloyd Platt & Company charge $530 (USD) an hour, and they’re selling [...]

Expectant Dads’ New Job in Delivery: The Social Media Updates

Within in the last week, I’ve had the pleasure of reading two expectant fathers give the play-by-play on the birth of their babies. They did it with facebook and twitter. First on December 12th, my friend Chris whose wife was carrying twin boys announced as his status at 8:49 a.m., “Today is the day!” (God [...]

Tonight Andy Borowitz Works for Me (#CompromiseCare)

Borowitz Report Comedian Andy Borowitz is bringing the funnies on Twitter.   He’s summing up the latest sellouts ::hack, cough, Lieberman:: to Health Care Reform under #CompromiseCare.  Take a look: Under CompromiseCare, you’ll be free to choose between medications and heating fuel. Under CompromiseCare, you’ll save on dental as your teeth fall out. Under CompromiseCare, [...]

Libido for the Ugly Nativity

Now if this juxtaposition of advertising and adoration doesn’t make your eyes bleed– Madison 3rd Street has declared war on aesthetics and all-around good taste with their freaky-deaky window dressing.  The nontraditional Nativity scene features several faceless mannequins meant to depict Mary, Joseph, and the three wise men. Baby Jesus looks like he was “goldfingered” [...]

“Go Girl” for Chicks Who Wanna Pee Standing Up

OMG, gross I rank this gadget right down there with the Snuggie.  Aptly called FUD (female urination device), GoGirl lets chicks pee anywhere.  And whizzing like a dude is supposed to be a selling point: Once you practice a time or two, using a GoGirl is going to feel like second nature.  You won’t be [...]

Black Jesus Pissing Off Italians

Northern Italians Want a ‘White’ Christmas In fair (I guess meaning white) Verona, where we lay our scene from ancient grudge to stupidity Where uncivil hearts make civil hands wring… Okay, enough of that.  Jim got me in a poetic frame of mind in the last post. A nativity scene featuring a dark-skinned Jesus, Mary, and Joseph [...]