Battle Hymn of the 2008 Douchebags

♪♪ Mine eyes have seen the failures mounting in 2008: The Mormons and the Fundies launched a conspiracy of hate; They have trampled down the rights of gays with Proposition 8: Our cruelty marches on. ♪♪ ♪♪ The perverts and the twisted fucks have fortified their teams, With dirty hags and Ashley Todd contributing to [...]

Granny Palin’s Little Bundle of Redneck

This poll was generated randomly by selecting words from Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin goes from Republican MILF to GILF in one pregnant push by daughter Bristol. The now 18-year-old moderately scandalized her mother who ran on the McCain ticket as VP. The bebe finally arrived this week weighing in at a [...]

Party of Bigots Just Misunderstood

ht Wonkette I guess Republicans haven’t bottomed out yet.  Tennessee GOP party chairman Chip Saltsman distributed this little gem, made popular by Rush Limbaugh in an oxycontin stupor. Half the party wondered why people can’t take a little joke and demanded everyone get into the spirit of things.  The other (smarter) half declared their righteous [...]

Top Docs Say Purity Girls Just as Likely to Whore Around as Other Adolescent Tramps

Nothing Says “Creepy” like a Pledge of Virginity to Your Dad Surprise, surprise, surprise… Teenage girls who solemnly swear never to have sex unless they’re married to a good, providing, right-wing, religious nutjob have just as much sex as the girls who aren’t lying to everybody. Top docs from the journal Pediatrics published their findings [...]

Bye, Bye, Eartha

I can’t count the number of times I played Catwoman when I was a kid.  Eartha Kitt was my hero.  I loved her voice, too.   Her Santa Baby was my favorite, and I remember having to figure out what Tiffany’s and a deed were so I could know what I was singing about as a [...]

Just a Second for the New Year

For people ready to make 2008 a memory, their wish will be postponed by exactly one second. The U.S. Naval Observatory will add a leap second before the clock strikes 2009.  The time adjustment is being made to account for the slightest deceleration of the Earth’s rotation on its axis. Ocean waves sloshing back and [...]

CIA Hard Up for Info, Deals in Viagra

ht GettingtotheTruth2 This story is just a gift from Allah. The CIA has a brilliant new strategy in dealing with Afghan warlords–turn their interests from blowing stuff up to getting blown.  Aging chieftans with multiple wives have needs after all.  The CIA is happy to put out. Who knew?  Viagra quells a libido for Jihad.

Artists Explore Suing Torturers for Unauthorized Use of Music

Musicians whose music was used to torture prisoners in Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib may sue the Pentagon for unauthorized use of their music.  Nine Inch Nails and Rage Against the Machine are two of the bands considering lawsuits.  The testimony of former prisoners says U.S. officials used ear-splitting audio clips of heavy metal, rap, [...]

Palin’s Dysfunctional Family Christmas

Sherry Johnston Putting the Funk in Dysfunctional! ♪Meth pots roasting on an open fire? ♪♪ Wasilla narcs nipping at your heels?  ♪ Sherry Johnston, Bristol Palin’s future mother-in-law, has been arrested and charged with 6 felony counts related to manufacturing and selling drugs.  Not every family has this much excitement to contend with during the [...]

Wild for Kris Kringle a Hundred Times Over

Every neighborhood has “that house,” right?  That house is the one where holiday sentiments manifest in thousands of lights and crazy yard displays.  A German couple dazzles their community this Christmas (and in Christmas past) with a yard full of hundreds of Santas.  ITN reports.